So, since October, when I've had the thought, "I should write about [insert clever, witty or thought provoking post title here]" ... I would reply, "Not until you finish the story ... " Self-conversation aside, I have come to realize that the story will finish when it "needs" to (for me), but in the mean time, writing is a very good outlet to express and grasp some of the swirling thoughts in my head ... both trivial and spiritual. To muse upon my ruminations, so to speak.
At the core of the Freedom story are my struggles with guilt and shame. I think these are familiar feelings we all experience and they hinder us in experiencing the fullness of our lives. As God has been helping me along in this struggle, I have become very aware of the effects of guilt and shame in my own kids. It is heartbreaking to watch them lose their innocence and I find myself exasperated sometimes and at a loss of what I can do to protect them. I am also aware that I, myself, am a contributor.
That is hard to admit. However, the confession in itself brings freedom; the admission brings about a desire to become better; the awareness looks for opportunities to build up instead of knock down.
When my son pees his pants because he was distracting playing, I can encourage him to remember when his body is telling him to go potty, instead of suggesting he's not a baby anymore.
When my daughter flies into a dramatic fit because she doesn't remember I already kissed her goodnight, I can kiss and hug her again, instead of saying, "Just because you don't remember it, doesn't mean it didn't happen."
When I come home exhausted from work and I just want to rest, but my daughter says, "I want to spend time with you." Instead of demanding "me" time, I can swoop them up and ask, "What would you like to do?"
When my son comes to me deflating because his friend got in his face and kept yelling that he is a "F**king B**ch" for accidentally hitting another kid while playing basketball, I can give him a giant hug and suggest playing Minecraft, instead of "forcing" him to resolve the conflict.I heard someone say once, "Hurt people hurt people." That is so true. Guilt and shame make us feel naked and because we feel naked we want others to feel naked too. Sometimes, our response (even to our own children) when they say to us, "I've been beaten and stripped. I am naked," is to agree with them and say, "Yes, you are."
Who told you that you were naked? - God, Genesis 3:11
I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness ... - You, Isaiah 61:10.
